Dexter

Symmetry: A Palindromic Film

Dexter, Doctor Who /

You hit me with a cricket bat. They’re not aliens, they’re Earth…liens! You hit me with a cricket bat. You’ve swallowed a planet! You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don’t always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant. You know when grown-ups tell you ‘everything’s going to be fine’ and you think they’re probably lying to make you feel better? Did I mention we have comfy chairs? They’re not aliens, they’re Earth…liens! It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you? Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! You know when grown-ups tell you ‘everything’s going to be fine’ and you think they’re probably lying to make you feel better? You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? Did I mention we have comfy chairs? You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in. Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish. I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don’t lie to me! Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish. All I’ve got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? You’ve swallowed a planet! You know when grown-ups tell you ‘everything’s going to be fine’ and you think they’re probably lying to make you feel better? Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff.

Symmetry: A Palindromic Film Read More »

This is a Self Hosted Audio Post. Nice!

Dexter, Uncategorized /

I’ll be back. You can’t keep the Democrats out of the White House forever, and when they get in, I’m back on the streets, with all my criminal buddies. Beer. Now there’s a temporary solution. …And the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night. Yes! I am a citizen! Now which way to the welfare office? I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I work, I work. Aaah! Natural light! Get it off me! Get it off me! Last night’s “Itchy and Scratchy Show” was, without a doubt, the worst episode *ever.* Rest assured, I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world. Human contact: the final frontier. This is the greatest case of false advertising I’ve seen since I sued the movie “The Never Ending Story.” “Thank the Lord”? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school. God has no place within these walls, just like facts don’t have a place within an organized religion. Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it. Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix. When will I learn? The answers to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV! And here I am using my own lungs like a sucker. Marge, just about everything’s a sin. Y’ever sat down and read this thing? Technically we’re not supposed to go to the bathroom. I’m going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won’t be back for ten minutes! I stand by my racial slur. Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1…2. Beer. Now there’s a temporary solution. Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman — and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing. Get ready, skanks! It’s time for the truth train! Kids, kids. I’m not going to die. That only happens to bad people. Your guilty consciences may make you vote Democratic, but secretly you all yearn for a Republican president to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king!

This is a Self Hosted Audio Post. Nice! Read More »